Steve Jobs: Man, Legend, Pioneer
The world I perceive in my mind’s eye at this precise moment is one in which there is just one universal language. At 2.48am this fine day, I have decided to ponder the ramifications of such an existence. I intend to weigh up the positives and negatives of such a circumstance and subsequently will do nothing with it. Like many an article, this should serve as much of a time-pass for you to read it as it is for me to write it. Aiming not to achieve anything substantial, I merely feel that getting such ruminations down on paper (or computer in this case) will help to demystify the windscreen that is my mind. On second thoughts I have decided to review the much spoken about Apple iPad…
Having revolutionised the technological world on so many occasions, Apple seemed to have set themselves up for a fall or an ‘epic fail’ (the term bloggers seem to frequent nowadays), and frankly they did not disappoint. I am by no means a reformist and have accepted the revolution with open arms. I am currently typing on a Macbook and my iPod Touch is nearby. However it seems Mr Jobs was so eager to launch a new product that he overlooked the potential market for his chopping board. In essence it is the biologically obese stepbrother of the iPhone/iPod Touch, and seems to do nothing new.
Supposedly this device can act an e-reader, and having done no real research into the matter, I can say with much certainty that it probably can’t. Again my sources are as in-depth and dense as a conversation with a friend on the bus, hence I am reliably informed that the screen to be used on the iPad will be one that can be viewed from all angles. Having watched episodes of Ricky Gervais’ legendary comedy The Office more times that I care to remember on the train, I’ve always craved the people either side of me to be able to enjoy his comic stylings with me, but alas to no avail. The visual angular ability (Note: actual technical term) of the iPod Touch was not good enough to fulfil my desires and it appears Mr Jobs has heard my silent prayers and answered with this hillbilly TV dinner tray.
Martin Luther King had a dream, and Apple have realised his dream. No longer will man be judged by the colour of his skin, but the content of his pocket. They realised this dream up until the unveiling of the iPad. As seems to be the case in today’s day and age, fashion is rapidly changing and due to the December postal strike I seemed to have missed the memo that big is the new small. The iPad only fits in Shaquille O’Neal’s pocket else it must be carried in an external carrier of it’s own. Blind followers of Apple-ianty would defend it to the death, but when I’m out of the house I use my iPod and when I’m home I use my Macbook. So please could someone tell when exactly and why I am expected to use this magical new pavement slab?
I think sadly I have actually thought up a legitimate use for the iPad. I envisage it’s the year 2015 and Vince McMahon has left the WWE (finally). Once again I have not opened a single webpage since starting this article hence Vince could already have left the WWE however I shall assume he is still loitering in the corridors of arenas all across the US…I digress. So anyway, there are two wrestlers in the ring, and it’s coming to that part of the fight when the referee has managed to find himself facedown, unconscious in the ring. The more devious of the two wrestlers slides under the bottom rope and due to the modernisation of the industry; the event is pay-per-view, being streamed online. There is nobody in the arena and even the commentators are sat in the comfort of their own homes. At this sad time in the future, there are no chairs for him to hit his opponent with. He finds an iPad bag (RRP $50) and inside a 40GB iPad, he proceeds to smash the instrument over his opponent’s head until the plasma leaks onto his head, burning the sight out of his very eyes. The weapon is discarded, the referee regains consciousness and the WWE championship changes hands once again…
Thank you Steve Jobs for another exciting chapter in WWE history.
Great article from the ever articulate dandy that is Salim Kassam.
Yes the iFad is probably one of the biggest dissapointments in Apple’s history since the Newton (Salim, you may be lucky enough to be too young to remember this monumental flop). And yes, the amount of times I’ve heard “its not even a big iPhone its just a big iPod Touch!” is enough to make me substitute my golden delicious for a bananna given the information overload I receive regarding Apple’s new device.
The greatest disapointment for me was the obvous lack of a proper Apple OS – if they want to sell us leapord style ‘apps’ for $9.99 they definetely have the ability to creat a ‘Leapord Lite’ of some sort surely?
On a positive note and before this comment turns into an article incomparable to the one above, I love my Apple iPhone with a passion and I know for a fact that since December 2008 it has never been more than 2 metres from my side…..roll on the real announcment of 2010 – Apple 4G. Take a lesson from the US govt – shock and awe, otherwise we’re only going to wait for the next new thing, and the next, and the next….
I struggle to believe that you wrote an article on the iPad without referring to the connotations that it is related to feminine hygiene products!
There is some irony in the relation between the two though; that they both will be used, on average, once a month.
It’ll sell to the fanboys (anything Apple makes will) but little beyond that. If it were basically a Macbook without a keyboard, so that you could run normal applications on it, then maybe that’d have a use. But a giant iPod Touch, not really.
On first heating of the unveiling of a tablet like device, I was edging nearer to my dad’s wallet and making up a holiday but when I realized that the product was a big iPod touch and not a keyboardless MacBook, I moved my eyes towards an Arsenal membership.
But what were Apple thinking on the unveiling of this product? There is no use for it, really.
Salim, I fail to see how you’ve written this article without looking online to see any of the benefits of the iPad. That would be like a person like me going to the Premier League tables, finding out that LIverpool were 5th, and saying that they had no potential to get any further than that, ever. Although there is some truth in what I said, I do have a point.
The fact that it is, in essence, a larger iPod Touch is not necessarily a bad thing as it’s exactly what they were going for. Now I won’t say that this is an entirely revolutionary product, but I wouldn’t merely brand it off. You should have a look at the e-reader on it – it’s pretty awesome. Then think about those times that you’re going to university and have a presentation. If you’re someone who doesn’t take in your bulky laptop every day, then something like the iPad would be great – slim, light and very easy to carry around. And one final point to think about. You want to do work. You’re on a train going across the country for uni/work/whatever, and your laptop has no internet. Your phone, although has a 3G network, is a bit small to do work on. Voila, le iPad. A big screen, full functionality to use iWork (Apple’s version of Office, and I’m sure Office will release something for it as well), and a large keyboard. It doesn’t take up large space, and it’s pretty easy to use (I can imagine, it’s Apple).
But either way, I reckon the main point that you should be thinking about it, rather than it being a futile slab, could possibly be that it’s a product that would be useful, but not useful enough to attract a market large enough to be worthwhile.
Also thought you may be interested to check out this article: http://www.keystakeholdersblog.com/ksh-journal/2010/2/7/of-ipads-and-project-management.html
just some of the uses:)